


In The Shadows (A Wedding)

by Menomegirl



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-14
Updated: 2008-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-03 21:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menomegirl/pseuds/Menomegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel watches from the shadows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Shadows (A Wedding)

**Author's Note:**

> Future AU. Edited out of a contest fic, but I decided I really liked this little ficlet. I recently played with it a little. It's the nearest to Angel/Buffy that I'll ever write.

~ ~

 

I hover near the edge of the balcony, looking down at all of them, knowing how sacrilegious my presence is in this building. I know I shouldn't be here, an unclean soul, hateful to all that's holy and good, but I just couldn't bring myself to stay away.

I need to see him happy, to know of all the things I've done, at least this plan came out right. It's the one remaining ray of hope I cling to in the sea of darkness these last ten years of what's become an almost unendurable existence for me.

The music of the piano drifts up to me, and I lean over slightly to get a better view. The men are waiting, dressed in their tuxedos, smiling, happy, so young. So hopeful. His attention is on the aisle, waiting for the moment she walks toward him.

A small parade of beautiful young women dressed in varied shades of pastel glide up the aisle, smiling and happy in their belief that all is right with their world. They're followed by cheerful little ones, tossing flowers for the bride, and carrying the symbols of fidelity and the promise of eternal love for the happy couple.

I feel a gaze looking up at me, and glance down to see Willow watching me in such a way that is nearly tangible. I silently shake my head no, and let her become aware that I don't want to be noticed, and thankfully, she pulls her preternatural senses back. I watch Xander take her hand into his, and I marvel at the envy I feel at the sight. At the comfort and togetherness just that small contact between them reveals.

It's something I've only had fleeting glimpses of, and a thing I'm undoubtedly undeserving of ever knowing for myself. But Willow and Xander had years of friendship, heartache, and compassion to grow into the love they now have. And that's the one thing I'm afraid I'll never know again.

And now I can't stop myself from glancing at her, sitting there with silently falling tears of joy on her face. Buffy's still the beautiful, shining soul to me she always was. I still want to save the world for her, to put a smile on that face I fell in love with all those years ago. Even knowing I wouldn't be the one to see the smile, I'd still go out and try for her.

That's sad, in a way, because I've come to understand that I shouldn't exploit my desire to attain such heights for the sake of something so petty as a pretty face, no matter how wonderful the person is the face belongs to. A part of me loves Buffy still, and I assume that's the way it was meant to be.

But Buffy was forever a little stronger than me, a little faster than me, and she caught onto a situation a whole hell of a lot quicker than I ever did. She never compromised herself the way I did, and she's gotten everything she's deserved in the course of her life.

I see her happiness from here, and I shudder when I think how close Spike and I came to upsetting her life yet again by tearing Buffy away from her beloved Immortal. I can feel how much she loves him, and how much they're part of each other, in my heart. It pains me to know I once wanted to destroy any happiness she could find with Duncan, out of the jealousy in my soul, and the anger I felt at her apparent abandonment of our unspoken vows of eternal love.

The strains of the wedding march begin, and I divert my attention back to watch the bride emerge. She's a vision of ethereal beauty, soft brown hair cascading down her back, soft white silk against her skin, glowing from the joy in this moment, as she glides toward him, almost as if she's walking on air.

Her eyes shine with love and hope, and the promise of a wonderful future. The look of astonishment on his face as she approaches is worth more than gold to me. It gives me something to believe in, something to have faith in once more, and I'm very, very glad I chose to lurk in the shadows to watch tonight.

Connor briefly looks up to where I am, hidden from view, and I know he's glad I'm here, but also grateful I'm remaining in the background. That's where I belong to him, and I've respected that, but I'm moved beyond words that he's acknowledging my paternity by that simple, but telling glance.

I smile slightly, he does the same, then he directs his attention back to Dawn and I watch the ceremony that joins two beings who should never have been. Small smile playing about my lips as I quietly exit the church, with a new-found sense of purpose and a feeling of completion in the exquisite irony of their union.

I wonder what Buffy would think about it, if only she knew.

~ ~


End file.
